Terms and Conditions

Purpose of the Useless pages: You agree to use the Useless pages provided solely for the purpose of getting nowhere fast. Any attempts to reach a meaningful destination are strictly prohibited.

Time Dilation Clause: By using the Useless pages, you acknowledge that time operates on a different plane within this mode of transportation. One hour on the Uselessville Express is equivalent to a week in real-time. Brace yourself for the epic slowness!

Infinite Loop Guarantee: We guarantee an infinite loop experience. In the unlikely event that you arrive at a destination, you are required to loop back and start the journey again. Complimentary snacks will be provided for each loop.

Seat Belt Conspiracy: All readers must wear their seat belts at all times, even when the website is stable. This is to protect you from the invisible turbulence that occurs sporadically throughout the journey.

Wi-Fi Disclaimer: Our Wi-Fi is intentionally slow to match the pace of your reading. Streaming services are limited to buffering, and download speeds are deliberately frustrating. You might as well enjoy staring at the scenery outside because we all know that you don't toutch grass.

Parallel Dimension Clause: Be aware that the Useless pages may inadvertently slip into parallel dimensions. This is a feature, not a bug. Enjoy meeting alternate versions of yourself and pondering the meaning of your existence.

Random Sock Redistribution: By stepping onto the Useless pages, you agree to participate in the random sock redistribution program. Do not be alarmed if your socks mysteriously switch places with another reader's socks during the journey. Surreal Announcement Protocol: